There are moments that sitting in front of a blank piece of paper is exciting; with the ideas and inspiration bubbling over and about to burst out through the ink of your very own pen. But then there are times that looking at that same blank piece of paper can strike fear deep into your bones; you feel your well is dry, and no magical force seems to be present to fill it up. I can sit there for hours, trying to force something out of myself, but usually even if I manage to, the result is rather lackluster. However, as I sit there, I can feel the need to get something out- the urge to break open the floodgates can be overwhelmingly strong. I can end up feeling like a disappointment, like I have failed my purpose by simply not being able to get my words out. It can make me feel momentarily worthless. But my mind- and my heart, need time to stew over the emotions and feelings; they have to prepare.
I appreciate that everyone is different, and sometimes miracles happen and I can write something prolific the moment something happens. But at least for me, nine times out of ten I need to let my emotions settle in first. As Don Henley said, “Sometimes songwriters and singers forget that. They get a melody in their head and the notes will take precedence, so that they wind up forcing a word onto a melody. It doesn't ring true.” I can force a song about something, but usually I find that when I listen back to it, I realize it just isn’t good. However, I do believe you have to write those bad songs so you can get to the good ones. You have to get that out of your system. And sometimes that even helps you finally open back up and release the words you really wanted to say. The words that you really think will make others relate.
Our words and our actions are all we have. But sometimes we forget how much it can affect those around us. When it comes to words, I do everything I can to find the right ways to say things. I am admittedly not perfect at that, we all error on occasion- or over look the possible hidden meaning of something. But I am a songwriter, and I try my best to be honest and upfront because I know the best way to connect with people is by being completely open with them; there is always someone who can relate to how you are feeling.
Sometimes the words I use in my songs can be brutally honest- there are a couple of guys from a few years ago that can attest to that! But if that is how I felt, that is how I felt. You can’t change feelings- even if they are unreasonable or unrealistic. A feeling is a feeling if you felt it. But as raw as I can be when it comes to writing about situations with other people, I am just as raw- or maybe even more so, when it comes to writing about myself. I admit things that most would never admit about themselves. It can be extremely scary, and make you feel extremely vulnerable.
"Those in power write the history, while those who suffer write the songs." - Frank Harte
But that is what makes writing so therapeutic. You get to admit all the things you have been secretly holding inside.
Sometimes I feel uninspired, un-encouraged, undesired, and unloved. But don’t we all feel that way sometimes? So why don’t we just admit it? Why don’t we just admit we are human and feel the pressures of defeat sometimes? I believe the answer is pride. In the right place, pride can be a powerful and wonderful thing. But pride often makes us hide the sad truths about ourselves, truths that would comfort those around us to know. And in a lot of cases, not only comfort someone, but also truly help them. We all like to be comforted by the fact that we are not alone while dealing with the issues and problems of this earth.
I am human. I can feel broken. I do need help. I make mistakes. I will make more. It is that simple. Life is that simple- for everyone. No one is perfect or exempt.
That is why when I song write, I try to take pride out of the picture. I try to be as open as possible. In such cases, that kind of pride will only hinder you from creating something honest. I can sit there and write a song about how wonderful everything always is- trying to convince you, and me at the same time. Or I can just be honest, and say look, I am having a rough day- everything went wrong, and I am an idiot. That is a true feeling. Bono has said it very clearly, "You can have 1000 ideas, but unless you capture an emotion, it's an essay."
And some people take songs and words too literally. I have had people listen to a song I wrote and call me saying, “This worries me, do you actually feel this way? You shouldn’t feel this way.” Etc… But that song was written about one moment in time. One passing feeling. Our feelings are constantly changing. If I have a powerful passing feeling, I want to write about it. An example is- I felt like an idiot… Maybe I said the wrong thing in front of the wrong group of people. No, I don’t think I am an actual idiot. But yes, at the moment, I surely felt like one!
Something to remember is that lyrics- and all writing in general, are often not 100% true. Sometimes a writer is going to add something or explain something in a way that isn’t exactly what happened, but they know it will make the piece better and more relatable. And sometimes there is no true story it is based on at all. Sometimes I make songs up purely from my imagination, or from what I dream to be a reality. Now I do have some songs that are 100% about one specific situation. But most are probably 80% exactly what happened and 20% embellishment- or 90/10 depending.
A good example is a song I wrote a couple years ago called “Adams Avenue”. I wrote it about living with my best friend Justin in an apartment on Adams Avenue in Costa Mesa, California. I have had people tell me that they relate so much to that song, the lyrics and everything, it all happened to them too. A lot of people relate it to a romantic relationship they had that didn’t work out, (due to the fact that the song is basically about not being able to go on with that situation any longer). But Justin is one of my best friends; we have never had a romantic connection. However, in the song, I made sure to stay away from making it sound like he was just a friend, or making it sound like it was a significant other. That way people can take from the song what they interpret and can relate to their own life. Also, I’d like to make a note that this is also a good example of passing emotions. Justin and I are still great friends. But I took a strong emotion that I felt for a moment during that situation, I delved deeper into it and exposed that.
I want to find words to paint a picture. But sometimes the picture I create in my own mind isn’t the same as the picture that others create from seeing the same words. And that is okay, that is good. That is what song writing is about. Getting people to be able to relate a song to their own life. So they can take it and make it feel like their own, like someone wrote it just for them. A great insight by Jimmy Buffett is that, "Songwriters write songs, but they really belong to the listener.” Usually the songs I write that are 100% based on a certain situation- every word means something to me and reminds me of a specific moment; those are the songs of mine that other people don’t really like, because they can’t relate.
Artistic license is a powerful tool when used properly, but also a hurtful one when not. Be careful. Choose words wisely. But never censor yourself and your emotions. Don’t be so worried that you might offend someone, that you don’t speak up and help someone. Get out there and speak your truth. Tell people your story. As scary as it can be, I will tell you that it can be liberating and soothing to your soul. And that is why I am a songwriter.
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